How many months are you?

"How many is her?" This is a frequent question that Ethan asks in one form or another. What he is trying to ask is how old is whomever he is inquiring about. Ethan is obsessed with growing older...as in he wants to! He thinks his Kindergarten class is for babies and that he will be grown up when he finally turns 7. He also cannot wait to do "whatever I want". Well, I get to do whatever I want which includes things like changing diapers, cleaning the kitchen at least 5 times a day, re-touching my white (not gray) roots, and wondering where those "fine lines" came from! Ahhhh...the freedom of aging! I like to remind Ethan that he has it made and to enjoy his youth!
On another random note...when does one stop referring to your children's age in months? I still do it with Gavin, but he is only 17 months old (easy to convert and do the math, right?) I heard a lady in my MOPS group say that one of her children was 28 months old...huh? So, you are saying that your "baby" is ...hang on I am thinking...anyone got a calculator...2...? Makes my brain hurt...really!
On the other hand, as my birthday quickly approaches it might make me sound younger to say that I am 430 months old and that my husband is 422 months old. You think? Grow old gracefully or just grow old is what I say. Thank God for my 76 month old Ethan and 17 month old Gavin...they help keep me young!

Why Would He?

Ethan's first day of Kindergarten was today! I wanted everything to be happy, pleasant, and positive as he entered into a new chapter of his life. Well, as you know, things don't always go quite like I fantasize, but we tried!
I put Ethan into the afternoon class thinking that the mornings would be low-key and we wouldn't have to rush around. Instead, Gavin decided that today would be a great day to show how independent he is. If things didn't go his way...which happened about every 60 seconds, then he banged his head on the tile, furniture, me, his brother. This head banging thing is never done quietly either. He likes to express his discontent vocally as well.
After hours of trying to fix breakfast, clean breakfast up, get the kids dressed, dressing myself, and keeping Gavin's attitude under control while watching bruises arrive on his little forehead...I gave up! I restrained myself from running from the house in my p.j.'s screaming and instead faked self control and put clothes on. We took a walk...and not a short one either. At this point in my morning I didn't care about how happy, pleasant, and positive the mood was "supposed" to be...I just needed to get out! Oh, and yes, I did take the kids with me! God showed his mercy by quieting the lion...I mean Gavin.
He enjoyed out time outside and I did too...until it sunk in that the clock kept ticking and I now needed to shower, feed the kids, wipe the mud off of the boys tennis shoes, dress Ethan in his first day of school attire, take pictures, change another poopy diaper, change another set of baby clothes, drive to the school, park in a no parking zone, unload the stroller, unload the kids, and SMILE!
I told Ethan that Daddy wouldn't be able to make it to the school, and Ethan replied "Why would he?" followed by "You aren't going to go in are you, Mom?" and "You aren't going to take pictures of me are you, Mom? Well, I guess you can take six pictures cause I am six."
I got clearance to go into the school...We were good to go...
The parents outnumbered the Kindergarten kids 2:1 and Ethan decided he didn't want to do the school thing after all. Until, that is, he saw the "rescue hero" toys in the housekeeping area...all was right with the school world after all.
After leaving Ethan with his class, I met the Principal at the Yahoo/Boohoo social (I was part of the Yahoo team of parents), and I let her know that my son was smarter than she...regarless of her schooling. She informed me that she had 3 sons herself and that if she ever got to have an important meeting with Ethan that she may have to excuse herself to laugh before helping him correct his behavior. Hopefully, our school year will never come to that...but I like everyone to be prepared! I found out later that the Principal actually went to meet Sir Ethan...I think he liked the attention!
Wow! Now that is a great first day of school...

Why?

As I continue into the abyss of Motherhood, I find that I have more questions than answers! Some of the questions I have include the following:
1. Why does Gavin throw his food even though my reaction to it isn't favorable?
2. Why, after having all the food removed from his reach, does Gavin take the food out of his mouth and throw that?
3. Why does Ethan laugh when Gavin gets into trouble for throwing his food?
4. Why does Gavin like to play in the trash can...and make putting trash on his head seem cute?
5. Why do I find clarity when I am attempting to run?
6. Why does Gavin throw up McDonald's french fries all over his crib, bumper, sheets, floor, stuffed animals and then when I go into save him he makes it all seem so sweet by pointing to the puked on rug and saying "uh oh".
7. Why do I pick Gavin up even though he is covered in puke from head to toe and kiss him and tell him "It's OK, Mommy will fix it!"
8. Why does Gavin think it is a good idea to paint his face and hair with peanut butter?
9. Why does Ethan want to marry me at Boulevard Wedding Chapel?
10. Why do I buy live crickets and worms to feed Ethan's lizard, "Buddy"?
11. Why do I worry that Ethan won't ever grow up only to feel like crying cause he doesn't crawl into bed and snuggle with me in the morning anymore?
12. Why does Ethan want to spend the night at everyone Else's house?
13. Why does Gavin cheer when I tell him we are going home?
14. Why does having Ethan ride his four wheeler around the block and I can't see him for 1 minute make me nauseous with fear?
15. Why does both of my son's lack of fear of any body of water make me feel fearful?
16. Why does Ethan always ask me what fun thing we are going to do next?
17. Why didn't anyone ever tell me how becoming a Mom would make me feel more love, completion, fear, responsibility, humility, and gratitude than any other role I would ever play in life?

You're Excellent

Let me start by saying that neither of my kids are good eaters...meaning they would rather eat carbs and let the rest be eaten by someone else...and cooking isn't my niche, so I thought this was funny.
I was watching a cartoon with Ethan this afternoon, and it was about things people excel in. I asked Ethan what he excelled in, and he thought long and hard and said "riding my bike"! To which i wholeheartedly agreed!
Then I asked him what he thought I excelled in...to which he thought long and hard again and said "cooking".
What a smart, good boy!